I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
