tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Randomize
