don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Randomize
