doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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