I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
We had sex on a dog bed..
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
