I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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