Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
