you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Michael Bay diarrhea
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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