considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
