No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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