he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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