The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
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