i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
