i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
