Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
You can't just leave with hair like that
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Randomize
