so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon�
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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