Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
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