I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Randomize
