Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Randomize
