dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Someone signed my nipple.
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