I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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