Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
