Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
