Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
