He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
