I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Randomize
