I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
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