I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
God, I missed his penis.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize