My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
