i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Randomize
