singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
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