We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
