I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
foreskin is a definite game changer
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Randomize
