No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
