okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
