yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
