Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
