I met the friendliest cop last night
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
