She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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