You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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