Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Randomize
