we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
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