I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
