she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
