wrigley field is MILF paradise
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
I could fuck to npr.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
