I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
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