Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
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