operation harelip BJ is a go
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
