I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
