i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
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