is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Randomize
