I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
