Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
