Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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